Old Equestria (Oldquestria?) Profile

* I own nothing. MLP: FiM belongs to Hasbro and The Hub Family Discovery, and most of the pictures belong to either of those companies or fans. Enjoy
**Warning: This profile contains speculation and fanart. And- Gods help us- Ponies! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
***Also, no Celestia, Luna or other Alicorns will be here- because 1) they're OP and 2) It would be incredibly boring if they were here and, and this is the most importat reason, 3) THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY OF THEM THAT SUPPOSEDLY EXISTS? WE KNOW JACKSHIT ON 'EM AND THEY NEVER SHOW UP OR ARE MENTIONED EVER AGAIN BUT ARE IMPLIED TO BE A HUGE KINGDOM THAT DOES STUFF- BUT WE NEVER SEE ANY SIGNS OF THIS AT ALL. So no, that lazy bit of retcon is being vehemently ignored.
****And as my final note, this is sort of kind of a composite Equestria- there's numerous versions of the damn place (The show, the books, the comics), so I'll just be taking the best of all and some speculative bits from my own thoughts on the place.

Drawn by cmaggot
Bigger version here

Name: Pegasopolis/Unicornia/Earth (Equestria)

Equestria. A rather peaceful place all things considered nowadays (minus the occasional God of Chaos or Destruction, Swarm of parasitic shape-shifting succubi-creatures and dark sorcerers or sentient helljungles- and only two of those are problems in Equestria right now maybe), a thousand-so years ago, that was not quite the case. In what would one day be known as the Frozen North, three tribes battled against each other for dominance and superiority, working together in a makeshift alliance that all benefited from and despised. The Unicorn Kingdoms controlled the Sun and Moon, the Earth Pony Tribes made the food and the Pegasi...

...

Um...

...

They beat the shit out of people, I guess. And control the weather, to some degree.

Anyways, there was an agreement between the three nations: so long as the Earth Ponies provided food, the Unicorns would continue to keep the day-night cycle in a tolerable fashion and the Pegasi would make sure the weather stayed on time and promised not to kill anybody.

It was a tense alliance and had its problems (The Unicorns didn't really care for anyone except themselves, the Earth Ponies barely had enough food for themselves and the Pegasi were Sky-Spartans always looking for a fight), but it worked.

And than, with no warning whatsoever, the known world was hit with a vicious blizzard unlike anything ever recorded. Magic provided little warmth and could provide no defense, crops died and became ash (somehow) and nopony could do anything to stop this. And so the three tribes were at odds with another, and with their homeland on the brink of destruction, they broke the alliance and went out to explore the continent and find a new home: coincidentally, they eventually would all gather around roughly the same spot, what would one day be known as Canterlot. And, of course, that winter from earlier has caught up with them and is now spreading across the newly discovered land.

And, since the Portal Master is feeling in a particularly spiteful mood today, (tonight? afternoon? does time even affect him?) he's abducted the continent of Equestria (largely unsettled at this point besides the sporadic colonies here and there) and has thrown it into his tournament of Kingdom Conquest. Gone is the potential of friendship (well, not entirely true but you get my point), and soon comes the icy winds of War.

This should prove fun.

Third Party Factions (Will have made-up names, because calling everyone a tribe is a bit boring and not entirely accurate. Also, speculation since the episode and the spin-off book on Equestria during this period is very spotty on details)

Pegasi State

Strength, Honor and Flock. These are the codes of the Pegasi.

The Pegasi- because every fantasy setting needs a proud warrior culture, even if it's only in a past tense. Essentially Sky-Spartans, the Pegasi are less of a kingdom or culture, and more of a battalion. Everypony is a soldier in one way or another, and are ranked as such. For the Mass Effect fans, think of the Turian Hierarchy but in a fantasy setting- that's the Pegasi.

The resemblance- it's astounding!

The Pegasi don't really have any set location on the continent they call home- the benefits of living in cloud cities- but they claim the entire sky and some mountains their domain (with the head of it being named Pegasopolis) and will fight tooth and nail claw hoof for their kingdom, ruled by the militant Commander Hurricane and his aide, Private Pansy and yes, I know how silly a name that is but Equestrian names are 8 out 10 times considered silly by us.

They're going to be tricky to work with, unless they meet someone just as aggressive as them- than they'll probably try to work out a treaty like they did with the Griffins... If the other side is capable of negotiation, that is.

Unicorn Kingdoms

We Shine As Bright As The Stars

The Unicorns are an arrogant bunch, split into various Noble Houses, with the various houses being collectively lead by the Unicorn King Sombra Bullion, although he's rather lax in terms of politics, and has made up his own little kingdom around Las Pegasus- it's relatively nice and secure, but nothing great- however, it is open for anyone to come by, if they can make it.

The real power behind the Kingdom, and the one that every non-Unicorn hates, however would belong to his daughter, Platinum. The arrogant queen-to-be holds a rather high view of the Unicorn race, and is constantly annoyed that they can't just magic away this blizzard- although she's convinced it was caused by some Unicorn mage to make the other tribes listen to them (WRONG!). She's set up spot near what will one day be known as Vanhoover and the Unicorn Range, and has proclaimed the continent of Equestria to be named 'Unicornia'.

They're going to be the biggest headache here- not to fight (well, okay, the Guards will be a bitch to deal with what with teleporting and such) but to deal with in any way that is diplomatic. They see themselves as the Master Race, and hate the implication that others may rule over them- unless cowed, they'll be a constant and annoying thorn in ones political side.

They also have the smallest population (a couple thousand, at best), due to the relative rarity of Unicorns in the gene-pool.

Earth Pony Republic

We Sow The Seeds

The Earth Pony Republic is the most populous of all the factions and, all things considered, the most rightfully pissed off at everyone. For untold decades, the Earth Ponies have had only a single purpose in their existence- and that was to put the benefits of others above themselves. "Oh, you have a family to feed? Well, I need a dinner ready for the Grand Banquet tonight! Comply or your crops shall never grow again. Hmph, arrogant little pricks." was their relationship with the Unicorns, and their relationship with the Pegasi- although leagues better- still boiled down to having roll over for them so the Earth Ponies could actually get the crops up and going.

So, come the meeting during the Literal Winter of Discontent, and the Earth Ponies are furious. Accused of holding out on the others and being greedy by hiding away a secret crop (even though their citizens were quite clearly starving), the Earth Ponies tore apart their arrangements with the other tribes and moved south to Equestria, setting up near what will one day be known as Fillydelphia as their base and naming the continent of Equestria as 'Earth' for the virulent and fertile ground it gave... because it was either that, or calling the known world 'Dirtville'. They have the largest population of all the three groups, and are the most durable and strongest of all the three, although they have no ways of utilizing actual magic (super-strength and manipulating nature to some degree is their magic, and that's it). They're led by a small council, with Puddinghead as the head of it with Smart Cookie as her adviser- and thank the Gods for that, or the Republic would probably not last too long.

They're going to be very difficult to befriend, having been thrown under the bus and at the grasp of others for as long as their civilization has existed. But once they become allies, they'll be very steadfast allies, useful diplomats and, if the need be, super soldiers of a sort.

Behold, an Earth Pony geologist at work.

Windigo's

No, not the Wendigo!

The Windigo!

So, if it's not the Pegasi or Unicorns making this abrupt and ever-lasting Winter, what is causing it? The culprits would be the sadistic spirits of chaos known as 'Windigo'- spectral ice spirits that feed off negative emotions like anger, jealousy or conflict (fuck), the Windigo's are one of the few creatures in the multiverse that actually like the fact that the Portal Master took them away. Not only do they now have more prey with the inevitable war, they will become even more powerful than before and be able to send Equestria through a literal Ice Age if the conflict 'heats up' enough.

The only thing that can actually harm them are positive emotions, with an excess of them being able to wipe them out entirely in a purge of pseudo-magical-emotional fire of joy.

Yeah, really.

Have fun dealing with these jackasses- who still aren't the most dangerous force in this world. No, that would be-

The Everfree Forest and its Inhabitants

Even the darkest forest welcomes you, if you welcome it too.

The Everfree Forest- the other thing ponies have no hold on besides the seemingly random winter OF DOOM!, the Everfree Forest is- as lame as this will sound- forever free. Wild, Untamed and threatening, the Everfree Forest is essentially the Amazon Rainforest on Crack- and partially sentient to boot, as if that wasn't bad enough. The Everfree will be a tricky locale for those who don't know it well or have very good skills, as almost everything can be a danger. From either the hallucinogenic-made-reality plant of Poison Joke (go through a field of it, and prepare for random hi-jinks to ensue onto your body- for better or worse) to the savage arcane monsters known as Timberwolves (literal magic wolves made of timber that can form together to make a mega-Timberwolf) to Ursa's Minor and Major (Giant Bears made of Magic and aligned with the Stars, with a cub being roughly 20 feet and an adult being around 100- give or take) or the semi-sentient vines that can spray a fume of toxic chemicals (and can also manipulate and control magic... I doubt there's any snow in the Everfree Forest right now) and controlled by the jungle itself, those are only a fraction of the problems one will find here.

That being said, some creatures and 'cultures' have been able to find a niche into all of this chaos and live side-by-side by the forest and not have to worry of dying a terrible death. These would be:

• Manticores (Think of the Tauren from Warcraft, but as Lions with wings and scorpion tails as opposed to Minotaur.)
• Miscellaneous Zebra Tribes (Tribes vary from each other in their unique ways- one of them is very renowned for rhyming. I'll let the writers for the simulation decide of any other differences these other tribes (few as they are) may have.)
• Changelings (No real hive, just a couple of Drones here and there that disguise themselves with others to feast off emotion.)
• Wood Elves Deer (Very isolated, very small numbered (little under a hundred compared to the thousands of everything else) very xenophobic with only a few exceptions (would like Starswirl and very few other people), very powerful and live in harmony with the Everfree. Start harming it, and they'll sic Hydra's on you as they did to a Minotaur businessman well, they did, but that hasn't happened yet, so... yeah, putting things in a past tense can sound confusing.)

And the occasional overgrown ruins of some unfortunate civilization from way back.

For obvious reasons, people are avoiding that particular patch of land fiercely right now.

There's a few other factions running around in Equestria, but we know next to nothing of them or the information we have is very little, so I'll just give a quick pass-by on them:

• Buffalo Tribes (are around Apploosa, Native Americans inspired and have migrational routes all across that part of the land. Pacifistic by nature, but never, ever get them angry, or they'll stampede your ass. If they like you though, they'll be steadfast allies.)
• Diamond Dog Clans (The Orcs and Goblins of this world- they are powerful diggers, obsessed with gems, practice slavery, aren't unified in any way except their clans, all that stuff.)
• Dragons (Either asleep in Caves among their hordes of gems and precious metals or live out in the Volcanic Badlands. They only get 'organized' during a migration back to the Volcanic Badland, otherwise they are spread out across the world in more-less solitary existences. A particularly powerful dragon currently slumbers in the mountain Canterlot will be built on.)
• Griffons (Disorganized kingdom currently lead by a Griffon known as King Grover, they have numerous clashes with the Pegasi. Only a few groups of soldiers are flying about. Have a very prominent taste for sweets (they have blood sugar problems)- it's actually how the Pegasi made peace with them: "This is our land. So long as it is, you get the most delicious of treats that those spiritsdamned Earth Ponies better make or I'll- Deal?" "Deal!", although they're a finicky bunch- they dropped the aforementioned treaty when Equestria was officially Equestria (the pegasi never said anything about attacking Equestria!) but backed off when another treaty of treats *suffering groan at that fucking pun* was offered up in exchange. They're culture is a proud one, but also a pretty damn greedy one- they take what they want, and they keep it.)

Important Individuals

Commander Hurricane

Inaccurate picture, as Commander Hurricane was a male. However, since I can find no pictures showing Hurricane as a male (that are good or canon, anyways), we'll be using this... And could probably prove for a few jokes in the simulation.
Anyways, the picture is courtesy of emkay-mlp, as are the other pictures of these important individuals.

Commander Hurricane is not a happy pony. Ever. Paranoid in some ways and glory hounding in other ways, Hurricane's personality can be summed up as either Honorary Klingon or Frank Miller's portrayal of the Spartans from 300- maybe a bit both, actually. When migrating from the Old Country into Equestria, Hurricane actually anticipated and hoped for monsters or bandits to come along the way, or for their to be an indigenous population in Equestria- so they (i.e- he) could beat the shit out of them.

Pictured: Commander Hurricane's idol

So yeah, Commander Hurricane is a very aggressive, very cocky and very bashful Pegasi- no wonder Rainbow Dash wanted to play as him, damn the gender differences. Speaking of Rainbow Dash, Commander Hurricane is similar to that Pegasi in more than just personality- Hurricane is also the fastest Pegasi of his time. Although never having accomplished a Sonic Rainboom (because, ya know, he don't got a Rainbow colored anything), he is easily on par with her in terms of speed.

Which can mean only good things for anyone fighting...

Commander Hurricane is a very hard person to impress, and holds a particularly large hatred for the Unicorns for their arrogance, although that doesn't mean his relationship with the Earth Ponies are any better. So yeah, Commander Hurricane: Brash, Arrogant and always looking for a glorious fight and is as fast as Rainbow Dash.

And he's in charge of an empire of Sky-Spartans.

SHITE.

Private Pansy

Private Pansy- can you even imagine a wimpier name for a soldier? Anyways, as you can probably guess from such a name, Pansy is not one for glorious combat, instead acting as a scout of sorts- she has to give a duty to the State somehow, and is fiercely loyal to her tribe. That being said, due to her meek nature, she doesn't exactly want the Pegasi to go out and murder-pillage-profit everything, but instead maybe make a peace.

In fact, in the episode (if we go by the idea of the play being 100% accurate, which we aren't entirely but whatever), she was the first one to actually get things moving along with Clover and Smart Cookie after their leaders were encased in ice by the Windigo's.

Besides being a scout, she also acts as the right-hand man to Hurricane, giving tactical advice (for all the good that does) and opinions on various strategies- which Hurricane does usually consider and take rather seriously, although suggestions of peace are just ignored outright unless it would have some kind of military value.

Chancellor Puddinghead

You know your life sucks when your parents name you the slang term for 'idiot'. No, seriously- being called Puddinghead is the equine equivalent to being called S██thead. This does hold an impact on her personality obviously, making her more than a tad suspicious of other people unless they actually prove to not be people who'll pull shit like that on her. 


Funny enough, despite the fact she has this name however and her mistrust of others, she is a rather jovial individual and certainly the most forward thinking of all the other leaders. Not in the sense that she'd ally with one of the other tribes, oh no, that option has existed for millennia and lead to only ruin, so that idea has been viciously kicked out. No, instead, she's the one that actually looks for good places instead of just proclaiming "WE LIVE HERE NOW!"- even if she did that by having a map taped to her face and stumbling around until they found the spot she found to be perfect.

Good intentions at heart, but she certainly has an odd way of showing them (not Pinkie levels off odd, mind you, but odd nonetheless)- something that would endure when Equestria officially became Equestria, but that's neither here nor there. She also places a great deal of confidence in her advisor, Smart Cookie, even if Pudding finds her to be a bit dull and thinking "too inside the box" at times.


Smart Cookie

Smart Cookie is an apt name for her- she's the one that usually comes up with the plans that aren't utterly bonkers for the Earth Pony Republic. Although Puddinghead is technically in charge, and can be a clever - if quirky - individual at times, she does need someone to keep her down to Earth, so to speak. She's a rather blunt individual, and all things considered has the least 'depth' to her- er job is to be the secretary, the advisor, the scheduler and producer to the 'director' that Puddinghead is. Workaholic? Certainly, without a doubt, but for a damn good reason. If she wasn't dedicated to her job, Pudding would probably do something that might end well but start off badly or insanely.

And on a note only barely related, she also has the cutest design out of all these characters.

Ahem, anyways- that's Smart Cookie in a nutshell: to provide sane arguments and plans to Puddings quirkiness. The only sane one in the room, so to speak.

Princess Platinum

Princess Platinum- what can I say about her that I didn't already imply in the profile for the Unicorn Kingdom? She's a stuck up and arrogant 'princess', being a Queen in all but name over her kingdom. She's notoriously stuck-up, having left the other ponies to die in the winter because- "Hey, they ain't unicorns, we can just magic food up! Who cares?". Now, although that bit is true, magiced food isn't exactly easy to make, especially in quantities and it more often than not tends to be shite to eat. She also hates dirtying her own hooves- figuratively and literally.

The only upside this monarch has, besides being legitimately kind to her own subjects (but not giving a fuck about any other subjects) is her skills in tapestry design.

Yeah, that's basically it.

Spoiled brat Queen, good artist and is racist, cowardly and greedy, but nice to her friends and can make nice looking art. Not much else I can say on her. 

There's a goddamn good reason why Starswirl offered his apprentice (while he was still teaching her how to properly understand magic) to the Queen, even thought that would disrupt his only way of teaching his apprentice- if he didn't, Platinum here would have probably accidentally ended the goddamn world.

Also, on a much more headcanon note, the spellbook that exists in the original Castle of Celestia and Luna in a secret room?

And is powered by a corrupt spirit (or just really fucked up dark magic) and gives whomever holds it reality warping abilities on a Discord/Alicorn Amulet level- and makes them go fucking crazy, with their worst traits being exaggerated to insane levels.

Well, Platinum is one of the ponies that helped make the castle, and the spirit(?) of the book possessed Rarity and made her an insane lunatic with incredible power, a notion that she should rule and was obsessed with precious metals and gems...

Yeah, for those not getting at what I'm going with here, I'm saying Platinum basically made her soul into a book of dark magic that corrupts anyone that uses it, ala the One Ring (or for the Equestrian equivalent, the Alicorn Amulet).

Again, this is all just headcanon and has no real basis in anything except my imagination- so use or acknowledge this at your own discretion.

Clover the Clever

A lucky clover!

Clover the Clever- although not as powerful as, say Starswirl the Bearded, is certainly as powerful as Twilight during her Unicorn years and is an incredibly intelligent and clever woman mare woman (mare feels weird to type out when describing somepony, erm, I mean, someone). She acts as the cool-headed advice to Platinum, and is her faithful servant. If Platinum doesn't want to get her hooves wet when crossing a pitifully tiny creak, Clover will (begrudgingly) allow Platinum to sit on her back and let her walk across it and I just realized Clover-Platinum's relationship is practically Kif and Zapp Brannigan's... Writers, have fun with that revelation.

Anyways, Clover is- as her nickname indicates- a highly intelligent and cunning individual, and is the personal apprentice of the genius Starswirl the Bearded (the ponified Leonardo Da Vinci, Albert Einstein and Gandalf/Merlin rolled together), making her a frightening force to deal with- although she despises conflict and eagerly wishes for some kind of peace to be brokered amongst the three tribes- although any time she brings it up, it's more often than not mistaken for a joke of some kind or ignored.

Starswirl the Bearded

Starswirl the Bearded- a Unicorn mage nearly unmatched in terms of power throughout history (even Alicorn Twilight Sparkle still holds him in higher regards than herself- and she could do this)- something he knows, as he's been to all points of it. Yeah, Starswirl is a casual Time-Traveler, able to go forwards and backwards in time at will through a spell only he knows (his stable time loop spell Twilight will eventually use was a failed prototype of the idea that he eventually perfected). Now, due to the dickery of the Portal Master, that ability is null and void so it doesn't really matter, but it should give a good idea of his magical power.

And if that doesn't, this should: He's the one that makes sure the Sun and Moon move around before the Alicorn Sisters arrived! Supplemented by 5 other unicorn mages for each task, the process was simple but devastating: the other 5 would drain away their magic into Starswirl who, now pumped up with even more power than before, would than change the day-night cycle. This was done on a daily-nightly basis! The problem is those 5 mages would than be utterly useless for magic except with theory or more 'hands on' tasks, like alchemy or the like. And yes, this will eventually bite them in the ass (but not any time soon, as the Sun and Moon now have a normal non-magical cycle that the Unicorns can't intervene in)... Hm, both the showings of his magic power are now null...

Annoying, that. Still, Magic is essentially Science in Equestria, and Starswirl was the Albert Einstein or Leonardo Da Vinci or Bill Nye The Science Guy in his older years of magic.

Starswirl is a rather charismatic (in a weird way- he knows of future events and has some stuff from the future and alternate universe like a boombox and knowledge of Hip-Hop and I swear I'm not making a fucking word up about this) but reclusive individual- as shown by the fact that he has nobody he can truly call a 'friend' (well, in his older years he sort of kind of viewed Celestia as one, but that doesn't really count), he does have many allies, and has a substantial grip of politics amongst the three factions, especially the Unicorn Kingdoms.

He respects everyone (so long as they're not batshit crazy) and doesn't really care for the petty squabbles amongst each other, wanting Equestria to be unified and peaceful- a task that, due to the Portal Master, is now farther out of reach and possibly impossible, depending on whom arrives first.

At the moment of the change in locales, he's exploring the Everfree Forest, looking for magical artifacts or information on magic from the local Zebra Tribes or rare Manticore Shamans. And he's been hearing rumors of something magical in a cave in the Everfree Forest, and incomprehensibly powerful...

The Tree of Harmony- which contains the Elements of Harmony, magical artifacts that can restore peace and order and harmony (for better or worse) on a continental scale, so long as the users represent its ideals (Laughter, Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity and Magic/Friendship).
And yes, that does indeed have Celestia, Luna and Twilight Sparkles Cutie Marks on it, even in this time period.
Yes, Starswirl is aware of this.
No, he's not fucking explaining why- because if he did, that would be a bunch of

And of course The Doctor has visited Equestria...

Danger Rating: 3/5: Although the higher and medium placed factions (The Fire Nation, All of the Warhammer and Warcraft Factions, etc) will have an easy time here, the lower factions (The Icemark Alliance and the Forces of Morgoth(?)) will have a trickier time here unless they align themselves with someone here or broker peace- and everybody better pack up their parkas and get the rations out and ready.

More-less the themes for this place.

Bonus points on the first for using footage from the special this entire profile is based around.